emptiness....again.... lolx

*sigh* wel..everyday seems to be the same.. >_<"
every night wen im alone..im alwasie left there thinkn of him..... sigh* i know i sed that i waas over him... but he is alwaise in my heart..but ...argh.... sigh* i duno nemore..=/
i know that he isnt worf it... coz of all the pain that he has put me thru... *tears* but i duno whuy i still let myself tear for him.. how come i let myself hold on to him...
i still hoping that one day..maybe... we could be agen.. >_<" they say that ur first is hard to let go..and fukn hel..its so truu.. but hrmm he wasnt even that .. i mean, we werent that serioulsy commited.. wel, if one side is and the other isnt.. it juz dun work..>_< so hrmm yah >_< we were juz a short thing..... which felt like ...a very long time.. and as the days, weeks and months past.. i feel more and more lonely adn empty... =/ sighZZz* last ngiht i was lyin ther alone..trying to do my hwk....but all i could think abt was him.. i duno whuy i let myself do it...i think i juz cant help it >___<" ther are soo many things that remind me of him.. soo many things in my room... my toys, my bed (sumtimes), juz lookin around at certain places in my room.. remembering wut we did..when adn where =/ *tears*
i alwasie find myself in tears, lyin in bed..missing him... sigh* songs remind me of him...-, argh* it makin me go crayzee i tell u! lolz.. >_< but i kno!! that i MUST get over him..>_< but i cant find it in myself to let him go completely... =/ *sighz*
they say that time heals wounds.... hrmm.. time... it has been soo long now... >_<
today i was looking at my school diary and fillin out my exam times.. and one of my exams are on the 24th of november... 24th!! hrmm sigh...that made me think agen.. coz on that day it would hav been 5 months....>_< it been soo long..... i mean, we could hav been soo long..>_< time has been flying soo fast ! and it not helping me at all =/ im still stuk on him....and im still alone.... argh* this stoopid bf and gf thing..! argh* *sobz*
sigh~ i kno i dun hav a chance wit him nemore.. i blew it wit that stoopid sms.. >_< i cant believe i did that eyy.. sighz* i alwasie think abt that..and wonder wut it would be like if i never sent it..and if i were still wit him....
at nights i wouldnt be alone.. at nights iwl hav him to hold me tight..and i wouldnt be tearing... >_<
i was writting a hrmm poem/my thoughts.. on a lil piece of paper.. >_< hrmm i thought to myself.... and wondered how it is possible that juz ONe person could make me feel soo great, so speshial, like i was on top of the world..then the next moment making me feel like nothing, like wanting to die and not breath again.. juz one person.. shattering my heart into millions of pieces and juz leavin me ther to die alone in the cold... >_< these millions of pieces.. hurts soo much to put back together..and i dun tink that not even half are picked up...
they say that a break up is like a broken mirror.. it is better to be left alone then hurting urself to pick it back up... >_<" sighz*
i cant follow these sayings..rofl..they juz dun work... >_<" wel..not for me! ahaha
i tink that the onli way i can get rid of him is if i find sumwun else...but then that is not right..i mean, it wont be fair for the new guy..but then agen..hrmm maybe if i find sumwun else who is interested in me ten... i would be able to completely move on.. >_<"
argh i duno wut im talkn abt.. im juz mubbling on and on..and i tink im being relli repetative..and i cant spell too!! lolz >_<" sighz*~~
..........sigh............
i told myself that after the end of year holidays im goin to start new.. >_< sigh bleh ..wel ..hrmm yarh we will see wut happens....
newasie im going now..end of school....
i got after school studyies too :( sobz*
okok BYEbyebyebyebeyb